For weeks, Republicans in the Senate have done everything they can to try and hide their proposed healthcare bill from the public — because transparency is sooooo 2016.
Thankfully, we’ve obtained a very special draft of the proposed legislation, courtesy of an anonymous owl that flew by and dropped it on my desk. The owl asked that he not be named in our report for security reasons.
To be fair: it’s not like the Republicans needed to disclose the details of legislation that could throw over 24 million people off healthcare. They’re still reeling from the time President Obama passed Obamacare without their support — and as Senators, it’s their constitutional duty to stick it to the meanies.
The party spent close to a decade complaining about Obamacare’s alleged death spirals. Obviously, they had a better plan in the wings, otherwise they wouldn’t have complained this much.
Here’s the leaked draft of their very, very good proposed legislation.
The bill is expected to be finalized without any public hearings, just as the Founding Fathers would have wanted it.