“DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!”:

“DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!”:

My dreams are all dead and buried
Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode
When God comes and calls me to his kingdom
I’ll take all ya sons of bitches when I go!
Let Her Blow!

Somehow I got spinal meningitis
Injecting all that hair spray into my spine
It’s a super cheap way to party
If you aim to kill some brain cells and some time
(Good luck gettin’ that child support check from me now)

My oldest son was born an albino
My youngest is covered in hair
The middle one says he’s a homosexual
And the other seven are gone, I don’t know where
(I raised them right they oughta be fine)

She run off and took our only chicken
When I broke jail the house was burnt and bare
The Japs moved the plant back to Osake
Some days life just don’t seem that fair
(I don’t care, some days life just don’t seem that fair)

I gave all my best years to that woman
All she gave me was mouths to feed
A miracle straight from the loins of Jesus
Since Charlie blew off both my testes
(1969 Cam Ranh Bay, it was a massacre)

Get your Yankee ass off my property
Don’t care if the bank gave you a deed
This farm has been ours for generations
Since we fought back those sneaky Japanese
(In the war of 1812, bring our boys home)

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